THROUGH JOURNALING

Presenter MaryAnne Calder, IWC Life-coach

CHANGING YOUR PERSPECTIVE

THROUGH JOURNALING

Presenter MaryAnne Calder, IWC Life-coach

Positive living

Date: March 17th, 2012

Time: 1000AM-3:00PM

Location: SMCC~ Crocus Room

Cost: $45.00

A one day workshop to learn how to

STRETCH  REACH  EXPAND

Shifting Perspectives

1. Learn how to make journaling a part of your journey.

2. Pack a bag lunch; come and enjoy learning how to live a positive life.

3. Enjoy coffee and snacks while find how you can live your best life.

Today is a gift use it wisely!

http://www.missinglinkscoaching.com

Contact the Morris Recreation Office to Sign Up Today!!!

746-6622

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Live your best life! Be in love with life.

We have journeyed the preparing for His birth, we have journeyed the road to Bethlehem, experiencing His birth in the stable. The shepherds visit fascinated us. The brilliance of the star held our attention, now He is here, what do we do from here? The announcer on the radio tells us the holiday is over and the world seems to have forgotten that a Baby, a very special baby, was born. When we have the birth of a new baby in our families, does it end there? Do we go on as if nothing has changed? Of course not. There is work to be done. So too is it with the birth of Jesus. There is work to be done in our lives. We cannot just let it end there. We cannot go back to life as it was before. The event that happened there in the stable at Bethlehem was significant! We cannot just go on as if nothing has changed. We have to do something that needs our attention when it comes to the birth of this new baby Jesus. Are you up to the task of doing the growth with Him as we begin this New Year? What are your intentions as you begin this year 2012?
Here is a thought that beings with the discipline of our time – a dreaded and often ignored spiritual discipline for many of us. We have either forgotten or failed to realize the truth that our minutes, hours and days are precious commodities – gifts from God that can be unwrapped only once. Time is wasted unless it is invested in goals and priorities that are rooted in God’s plan. What are the goals you wish to set today for the year that involves the Baby Jesus? Here are two suggestions that I have tried and might work for you, however you choice to use them.Tithe your time. Just as we tithe our money, we should tithe our time. God blesses and multiplies the time we set aside to spend in Bible study, prayer and service. I spend about 20 minutes at the beginning of each day in ME and God time.
Get organized.  In 1 Corinthians 14:40, we are challenged to “do all in a fitting and orderly way.” In other words, being organized is a spiritual discipline, freeing us from the tyranny of the urgent, while making room for the eternal things that matter. I like to plan my day with the things that are important and not the trivial.
You may already have a good start on what you will do with the Baby Jesus and sharing it with someone else is a good thing.
Remember sharing and writing it down keeps it a reality, for a goal not written is just a dream!

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

New Year Blog

 Have a beautiful and blessed day!

By MaryAnne Calder, IWCC, Life Coach

Are you ready for Christmas?  How many times have you heard that question since the beginning of November?  Would you say too many times to count?  What are we really asking?  Are we asking to compare ourselves to the others?  Are we competing, hoping that we are further along than they are?  When I am asked, I have this sense of guilt that I am not ready, even though Christmas day may be weeks away.  My Mom, use to say when Christmas Day arrived whether ready or not, it really did not matter. Christmas came anyway.

 The first time someone asked me (the ready question) this year; I stopped to consider. What did it mean to me to be ready for Christmas?  Did it mean having bought every gift for everybody on my list, the gifts wrapped and under the tree? Did it mean that the house be decorated to perfection for weeks prior to Christmas Day?  All the cards ready for the mail on Dec 1.  All the baking done, the parties/gatherings schedule on the calendar.

I have learned from experience that preparedness for Christmas,  means different things to different people. What is important to one person is not so important to the other. Some even dread the thoughts of what getting ready for Christmas involves. Whether you are that person who needs to have order in your preparation or you are the person that leaves the preparation to the last minute or you choose to not prepare at all, we all are In some way affected by the (get ready for Christmas.)  

 I like my preparedness to included hope, peace, joy, and love.  Making a choice when I wake in the morning to have hope for a beautiful and blessed day, choosing to look for peace in the challenges I may face, embracing the joy of laughter and to love all who cross my path on that day. That is readiness for Christmas.  A gift we can give to ourselves is in choosing to begin our day planning for a great ending to our day.  It is still important for me to have gift giving, baking, decorating, greetings and the parties/gatherings be a part of Christmas preparedness.  However, when trying to achieve all of those things, stresses me, it takes away from the meaning. 

 My preparedness for Christmas this year involved choosing to have an attitude of keeping it simply spiritual (kiss).  My choice, to spend time reflecting on the true meaning of Christmas, that of the gift born in a humble stable in Bethlehem, is to remember the importance of that gift to my life.  What would you choose as a focus for your life this Christmas?  Will it involve the gift of restoring a broken relationship?  Will you choose to have hope, peace, joy, and love a part of your Christmas readiness?  Whatever it is that you choose, remember to treat yourself as a Valuable Person.

 Preparedness for the onslaught of to do lists requires careful planning.  Understanding the difference between what is important/urgent and not important/non-urgent is time management.  Look at the list of tasks, like your baking, decorating and parties/gatherings that need attending.  Prioritize them in the time matrix of important/urgent; non-urgent/non-important the results of doing that preparedness may give you the gift of time that is in short supply at this time of year.  It is important to plan, however, it is vital to be prepared.  Be prepared to CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS!  Have a beautiful and blessed day!

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Preparedness for Christmas

What does it take to be healthy in all the dimensions of our lives at this time of the year?  It takes prioritizing what is most important and most beneficial. When was the last time you made a list of the important things in your life? The consumer world would have us believe that true Christmas spirit can only be, if we buy, buy, buy.  The more stuff we have and give the Merrier Our Christmas will be. There was a time when I bought into that kind of belief.  What about you?  Do you think that if you give as many things off everyone’s list, then they will have a Merry Christmas?  All that does is give your financial wellness a money ‘hangover’. 

Preparedness is the most important tool to use to keep us balanced during the busyness of the season.  That is what Advent means, preparing, waiting for the most precious gift to come into the world once again. Jesus is the Reason for the season and I believe that some of us forget that most important detail.  If not for the birth of that wonderful gift, there would be no reason for all the rushing around.  The most important preparing we can do is to make Spiritual wellness a priority, spending time each day getting positive, to visualize what our days during the season will look like.  Having a hope and trust, we can have a great Merry Christmas if we remember to center it on the important.  Even if we encounter urgent matters, we will be better able to manage and get through those times when prepared for the important.  Most importantly remember to have a GRATITUDE ATTITUDE!

 We focus on decorating, wrapping, card writing, and baking, etc.  These appear so urgent that we lose our sense of balance; you can choose to shift your perspective.  Take one of these tasks, do it for a set amount of time, no longer than half an hour, then move to another task.  Maybe one of your daily routines. When you return to work on the first, you will find that you are refreshed and ready to focus again.   Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Preparing for Christmas/ Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Do you think that you give off positive vibrations?  Are you aware of the affect you have on others?  A healthy environmental dimension, means we understand the impact we have on those with whom we have a relationship, whether family, friend or acquaintance.  We understand that it requires us to invest in those relationships.

In order for us to have this kind of impact, there is a need to examine the basic paradigm from which our attitudes and behaviors get their roots.  Is our belief rooted in the positive, are we empathic listeners, seeking to understand before speaking?  Our circle of influence is greater when we are willing to be influenced by others.  When we choose to be present in conversations, to listen to other’s stories, before we ask for permission to give our opinion, this is when our circle of influence grows, and our environmental dimension is healthier.   

These are some principles that I have found helpful for my environmental wellness.

 Principle #1 – service to others, endeavoring to facility others to attain their goals,

Principle #2 staying positive and optimistic,

 Principle#3 affirming others, treating them as proactive individuals, 

When I choose to joyfully give encouragement to others as they work towards their goals, it is then that I have the greatest personal impact. When I choose to stay positive and optimistic it is then that I believe the best is yet to come.  In affirming others in their journey, it is then that I help them become who they are capable of becoming.

Do you allow the 4 cancers of emotions to influence you, to invade your environment?  These cancers are criticizing, complaining, comparing, and competing.  When you choose to bring the negative into your conversation with others, the environment can quickly turn toxic. There are times when any one of these 4 Big C’s of emotion can creep into our time with others.  It is in our ability to sense that it is happening and make a proactive decision to change our attitude and behavior that we can turn that conversation, that time with others into a positive experience.  Being aware of your influence on others, in how you choose to interact, has the biggest impact on your relationships with those in your circle of influence.  It is in that awareness, which helps you to grow your circle of influence.  What kind of impact do you desire for your life?  Positive or Negative.  Here is a thought, the point of living, and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe that best is yet to come.  –Peter Ustinov

 Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

How is your environment wellness?-Have a beautiful and blessed day!

 One of my goals was to create memories for my grandchildren, building my emotional bank account by planning outings with them.  As an example of what that would look like- having a girls and boys weekend sleepover.

 This year my third oldest got to go out for lunch with the older two boys and Grandma in the Fall (A tradition started when the oldest turned 6).

Reality, this will need careful preparation and planning.

Options, making sure that I am present when they are telling me something that is of interest for them, like telling me a story.  What I wanted this goal to accomplish was to create memories for the grandkids of special times spent with Grandma and Grandpa.

The ability to set goals involves our Intellectual wellness.  I use the GROW METHOD to set goals.  G stands for the goal I want to attain; R is the reality of the goal,  based in what I value; O is for options, what are they, choosing between them and making the best decision for the best results. W stands for why is it important for me to attain this goal and when is the accountability, how will I know if I have achieved the intention of the goal?

In the past five years, when I set goals, I begun with the end in mind. What do I want the goal to help me achieve in my life?  Most of the goals were set with my personal mission statement in mind.  What legacy do I want to leave? There are times when circumstances change, when the unexpected happens. I believe that goal setting is the will to succeed, however, the act of writing down goals is vital to being prepared.  When you are in a state of being prepared (preparedness), you have a powerful tool in your kit for handling the sudden changes in circumstances that life can and will bring.  Being in a state of preparedness helps me not to react emotionally to circumstances.  I can be truly proactive.  I can act with integrity.  My choices are value driven because my values are clear. Would you like this for your life?  Life-coaching can help you set goals and be accountable.  Here is a thought; the will to succeed is important the will to be prepared is vital. Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Goal Setting/Have a beautiful and blessed day.

However, when you are disrespectful, cutting people off in conversation, overreacting to situations, and you betray trust, it is than that your EMB will have an overdraft.  When there is a communication breakdown, you have no place to go except further into the ‘Hole’.  This is when your social dimension, in your Interpersonal Wellness, may be poorer than excellent.

Responsible communication is an important part of being personally well in your social dimension.  Relationships can either be built up or broken down, depending on how you choose to build the level of trust in your Emotional Bank Account (EMB).

To sustain a large reserve of trust takes continuing deposits. Family relationships are in jeopardy when the EMB goes into a deficient.  In an overdraft, it becomes more and more difficult to communicate.  When an important discussion needs to happen, there can be no responsible communication.  Now what?  What is the response?  More withdrawal or will you have the wisdom and knowledge to work at building the EMB.  Maybe you can do an act of kindness, or ask what project they are doing and listen to seek to understand what they are working on.  There may be suspicion at first, however, if you continue to be genuine in the deposits, the overdraft will shrink. Remember, however, that a quick fix it is an illusion. When you are working at rebuilding and repairing broken relationships, you are working at a long-term investment. 

Are you wondering how to build equity in your EMB? Here is a thought. Make deposits by attending to the little things, keeping promises, being clear on your expectation, showing your personal integrity, seeking to understand, and finally apologizing with sincerity when you make a withdrawal. Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Emotional Bank Account-Have a beautiful and blessed day

Do you treat yourself with loving kindness and with gentleness?  Do you speak loving words to yourself?  Do you spend time with others who treat you like a MVP?  Do you feel like you are living a life that is in alignment with your principles?  Are you living your life within your value system?  Do you feel challenged to attain this kind of living?

There are many different ways to find out if your life needs to have adjustments.  The one I like is a personal audit of the eight dimensions that make up who we are as people.  Those eight dimensions are Spiritual, Intellectual, Social, Environmental, Emotional, Financial, Occupational, and Physical.  Why a personal audit of these eight dimensions?  Because audits are thorough and accurate, they help evaluate where you are in the now, what you intend to make changes to, as well helping to set goals.  An audit can also let you see that you have already accomplished your best.  GOOD FOR YOU!

However, if you find that you are out- of- balance in one of these dimensions, doing this personal audit may take your life from begin good to better to best.  Taking your life from ordinary, to a life that is extraordinary.

A personal audit involves honesty, you being honest with yourself.  I recommend doing poor to excellent not low to high.  Here are questions you might want to ask yourself, using your Spiritual dimension.  How would I rate my self-esteem?  What about my faith, do I live the kind of faith that aligns with my principles and values?  Am I as balanced as I would like to be, do I have a grasp of what I believe?  Do I have trust issues?  Are there times when hope is gone?  Do I feel disharmonious in any of these areas?  Finally, how do you visualization your life?  I quote Stephen R Covey ‘Vision is the fundamental force that drives everything else in our lives.’

Do you feel out of balance in your spiritual dimension?  If so here is a thought.  Make a note of how deep a breath you take between stimulus and your response.  Your quality of life depends on what happens in that space. Have a beautiful and blessed day!

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Most Valuable Person (Have a Beautiful and Blessed Day!)

The meaning of being in a state of self-awareness is to have a conscious awareness of how you react when you come face to face with these kinds of emotional situations.  It is the ear to the voice of your conscience.  You need to ask and answer the hard questions.  Here is an example of a question you may choose to ask. 

How do I manage emotional situations?  What is your answer?  You need to be honest with yourself.  You can start right where you are now, no illusions, no excuses, this will help you set realistic goals as you work towards your desire for your best life ever. 

What goals do you want to set as you travel the road to success?  As you ask and answer the hard questions around how you manage your emotional dimension, success is sure to be yours.

When setting goals to get our best life ever, there are stages that we go through.  

Stage one is what I call the stage of unconscious incompetence, were you are not aware that you may be in conflict with your principles and with what you value.

Stage two is conscious incompetence.  At this stage, you are aware that you are not living your best life; however, you don’t know how to change.  

Stage three, is where you set goals and make choices to change your pattern of behavior.  When you set goals, there is a need to write them down.  This is so you have a record of what your plan will be, for if you do not write it down it is only a dream.  

The fourth and final stage is the unconsciously competent; the change you have forged becomes automatic.  What if you asked yourself these questions.   Do I manage my stress constructively?  Do I fear what others might think if I don’t go along with their plans?  Do I handle disappointment with grace?  If you need an idea of where to start to make a change here is a thought.

1. Gratitude/attitude.  Begin to be grateful for all that you already have and then begin to use gratifirmations, a word created for the practice of being grateful for the things you believe you are ready to receive. (Joyce Odidison, life coach)  Try it you might like it. Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Gratitude/attitude – Have a beautiful and blessed day!

The need for a connection with our inner voice of conscience is vital.  If we find ourselves drifting through our days without direction and feel out of balance we need to ask “What principles am I no longer reflecting?”  We live in an environment that inundates us with human doing and takes human being out of the equation.

How can we choose to bring balance back to our lives?  I believe it will happen when we chose to be still and listen to our inner conscience.  When we examine our principles/mission, it may become apparent that we have a need to shift our perspective.  We may also need to change our paradigm, our thought pattern.

The thought pattern, that if we busy our lives with doing we will have vibrant lives, shifting that paradigm to being present in the moments of our days.  This may cause you to move from human doing to human being, being present in the moments that are important to you.

If you chose to do this, you may find that vibrant life you are looking for.  A practice to making this discovery maybe facilitated by writing down our values (that which we hold in respect and high esteem) by which we choose to live our lives.  We may find that rolling them around in our mind before acting on them allows us to find out what works for each of us as individuals.  Taking deep breathes, may help to bring calmness to your life, you may find you have more energy.

Most importantly, you may find vitality, joy, and purpose.  One change is all it takes.  For one change leads to another change until you find your goal of living in balance.  What one change are you willing to make in your physical life to give you that vibrant life?  Here is a thought.

Vibrant health grows out of natural principles.  With regular exercise, eating healthy and whole foods, getting an adequate amount of rest as well as a healthy mind-set a vibrant healthy life can be ours.  It comes from being consciously competent in what we take into our body and how we treat our body.  If we live by these principles and value our health, a vibrant and healthy lifestyle is ours to have.  This practice done daily can become an unconsciously competent way of living.  Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Have a Beautiful and Blessed Day!