“Make and keep a promise-even if it means you’re going to need to get up earlier in the morning to get in your exercise. Be sure you don’t violate that commitment and be sure you don’t over-promise and under-deliver. Build slowly until your sense of honor becomes greater that your moods. Little by little, your faith in yourself will increase .”

Building trust that is what it is all about.  When making promises to yourselves, do you keep it or do you find that breaking it is easier because  you don’t write it down no concrete  evidence you made a promise, meaning you don’t have to be accountable for the promise? It was during one of my daily morning paper writings that I discovered a key piece of self-awareness,  I have  trust issues with myself of all people.  And here is what I found.

I don’t trust that I can overcome the old habit of overindulging on food. It is what contributed to my weight gain in the first place. Overindulgence was the cause and effect for my topping out at 240. Then with measured and control planning I reduce that the weight. Now I face a new challenge. I may have thought by saying reduce,( meaning to reduce was not to lose because when you lose something it can always find you) I was playing a trick on my mind however, here I am, 20 lbs have found me. Consequences of not dealing with an old habit; overindulgence on everything that is in my cupboard. The weight I need to reduce  might as well be 80 lbs because I feel the same frustration. I find  my self-confidence is eroding. Some of the old insecurities  like negative self-talk are finding there way into my thought process.  What I am going to do about this?

I have a plan of attack!

I am going to start my days with a plan; starting it fast, then through the day living purposefully so that when the day is over I will be getting stronger on trusting myself to keep focus on the goal. HEALTHY AND THINNER.

I am going to blog about this very private journey. Last Saturday I weighted myself for the first time in months and here is what I found. 22. 4 lbs that had returned to take up residence, total unwanted. However, I had contributed to the gain. I had made choices that give those pounds the fertile ground to multiply. The biggest choice I made was to let old habits creep back into my life. Making a plan will be the first step.  To daily have a plan of what I will eat on record. To talk about it, accepting that I have to make a change in how I approach certain triggers. One such trigger is tiredness. When I am tired whether physical or emotional I turn to food. What is more comforting than a piece of cake? What I find is that there really is nothing  in that moment appears more comforting than cake therefore my choices are do I go for the  moments comfort knowing the  consequences of having that cake will lead  to more then one piece of cake in fact it will lead to a binge. Or I can choose to go for an alternative active such as walking, checking out what is on my priority list of things I would like to accomplish for the day, the purpose of the day.This  requires a plan.

My trust issue is just that, I know I won’t just have one piece of cake if I choose that coping method.  It will lead to one more and after that it is a free for all however, I don’t quite trust that I can walk away from the feeling of overwhelmness.

Now that I am aware of the trust factor I am asking the question. If I have this piece of cake how will I feel if I have another and another after that?  I know what it feels like to break that promise to myself. I know how self-loathing I will feel because I have that experience therefore, I know that if I walk away and check out what I promised myself my sense of honor becomes greater than my mood.

This is a great foundation on which to build a trusting relationship with myself and the potentiality for this to impact on others whom I have a relationship with is endless.   Little by little my faith will build until there is a trusting relationship with me, myself and I.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Promises/ Trusting

In the months leading up to this great event, I traveled through a lot of different emotional highs and lows.

I recalled something that my son in law ( then my daughter’s new boyfriend) asking me “How does it feel to be 50?” I told him “At 50 I feel better than I did at 40.”

Why would I say that? Because in my 40′s it felt like life was just happening to me. It felt like a train wreck most days. My children were growing up, leaving home and getting married. I was busy with an outside the home job and our family experienced many losses of family members who were a significant part of our daily lives. Four in particular effected my life. My two best  cousins/friends Marion and Holly, my work friend (who was also my maid of honor) Karen. And then of course our nephew Cory. It was because of all of these losses that I made a choice in the late 40′s to find a more serene approach to living.  It started with a gratitude/ attitude journal. What five things was a grateful at the end of my day? I cannot take credit for idea of a gratitude journal however, I have made it suit my life. That was what began my 50′s making them “my coming of age decade.” I became a Grandma at 49. At the beginning of my 50′s, there I was the generation #3. The 50′s brought many new exciting experiences into my world, new members to our little family, children in laws and grandchildren. However, the biggest and be far the most life changing began in November of 2006. It was then that I shifted my perspective. It was then that my paradigm begin to change. I began to reduce weight not because I was eating less and workout because that I had done before. What shifted was this thought, no quick fix, I made life long commitment. I know it would require  hard work to get the desired results I wanted. Huge paradigm shift for me, my perspective had always do it, move on and forget all about what I had done to get where I was. This shifted was a direct result of my introduction of a gratitude/attitude.

Now I have learned from experience that my whole being is connected. I have gained the knowledge to know that if interpersonal wellness is my desired result for my 60′s then I will have need to be a “work in progress” all of my life.  I am living my life with gratifirmation; being grateful for that which is yet to come.  I am choosing what my 60 will be. I choose for them to be more adventurous then another other decade of my life.

MY GRAITFIRMATION FOR MY 60′S

I WILL HAVE CONTINUED TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.  MY DREAMS AND AIMS FOR A LIFE THAT IS INTERPERSONAL WELL.

To accomplish that I will be self-aware of what influences decisions I make daily.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

60 what will this decade bring into my life?

This habit of hopeful thinking is a perspective shift that can vastly improve my life.  Gratitude /Attitude  can be a  stepping off point for this kind of thinking. When I focus on the blessings in my life and I am grateful for those blessings, hopeful thinking is not far away from my conscious mind. I am self-aware that it can lead to living  my best life.

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You hold the power!

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Shifting your perspectives

“In the absence of “wake up calls,” many of us never really confront the critical issues of life. Instead of looking for deep chronic causes. we look for quick-fixs, Band-aids and aspirin to treat the acute pain. Fortified by temporary relief, we get  busier and busier doing “good” things and never even stop to ask ourselves if what we’re doing really matters.

I encourage you to consider a  decision to make a change, and to look deeply at what you need to begin to make a lasting change in your life.

For today, start your day fast, live it with purpose, so you can say you finished strong.

Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Are you Depending on Quick Fixes

“If we want to change a situation, we first have to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions.”  Stephen R. Covey

I like this quote it is a great companion for another saying that I have in my home for my business.

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

In the past year of 2010, I made a conscious competent effort to change  my perspective when it came to my desire to be a healthy person

• physically
  
• spiritually
• mentally
  
• emotionally

Changing my situation meant I  first had to evaluate how I viewed my world.

I needed to reexamine the lens through which I saw my world, as well as the world that I was seeing and to understand that the lens itself shaped how I was interpreting my life.  That lens that I was using to see my world was flawed. What I saw with these lens was a failure, like not staying true to a promise to myself meant that I give up, and that shaped my perspective on  my world of goal setting.

However, what I now see when I am not necessarily in-sync with the goal that I set for myself,   is not a failure only a time to regroup. Therefore I came up with a great mantra for myself when I have a set back in attaining my goal.

1. Restore; take action and exam the cause resulting  in  the setback.
2. Regroup; get back to the idea of the goal.
3. Recover; put action plan into place and be gentle with myself (no scolding.)
4. Resume; no need to start back at the beginning, stop where the setback happened  not needing to  wait until the next day to begin the recover.
5. Reality; face it that there is a reality. I realized that I needed to change my perspective. Old habits don’t go away just because we wish them to or we try to throw them out of our lives, there is a need to replace them with good new habits. There is also a need to give them time to replace the old habits. We all know that new habits are only successful if we repeatedly use them. They need power to take over  old habits.
   

That was the understanding that shifted my perspective of my world and the world around me. That was the change I had to make to my lens. Of all the shifting in paradigm I made in 2010 this shift was the greatest. However, it came as a result of other paradigm shifts in my life. It was the result of journaling, making my Morning papers a part of my day. It made way for changes in all eight dimension of my life.

1. Spiritual Dimension
2. Social Dimension
3. Emotional Dimension
4. Occupational Dimension
5. Intellectual Dimension
6. Environmental Dimension
7. Financial Dimension (this one is going to need more work)
8. Physical Dimension

I set the goal to become unconsciously competent in new habits by Dec 31, 2011. With that in mind I challenged myself to spend the next 100 days using the new habits at all the places that I need to replace old ones.

In closing I challenge you to start your day fast, live it with purpose and at the end of the day you will feel the strength of all your best efforts.

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Offering for the new year 2011

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

May you all find want you need so you can  love your  best year ever in 2011. I am looking forward to discovering my best year and learning more how I can be Interpersonal Well.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

“When we pick up one end of the stick, we pick up the other.” Stephen R Covey

Remembering this would help us get the best out of celebrating this Season of hope, peace, joy and the coming of Christ.

Have a beautiful and blessed day.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

December Gifts

I also am a firm believer in having an attitude of understanding what someone else position is before and then ask for their understanding of my position it makes for the Win/Win situation.

For my environmental wellness, I choice to have and attitude of gratitude, to seek to understand before seeking understanding, to surrounded myself with healthy choices, and to have a personal impact on all I meet in may daily living. Makes my little corner of the world a better place to live.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Part 4 of 8 Interpersonal Well/ Enviornmental Well