Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder » Missing Links Blog

Do you feel like you are the only one?

MaryAnne Calder — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 22:14:02 +0000

I have been thinking about this question a lot lately. Feeling like I am the only one who messes-up. The only one who keeps making the same decisions that are not good ones. The one thing that interpersonal wellness coaching has helped me to realize is that we all may look like we are making the right choices in the public eye , however we all have flaws that we hide from the public. We all have things that cause us to derail on our journey. My flaw is that I keep making the same unplanned decision that causes me to lose out on getting my desired results. What I wondered than, am I the only one that does this? I do not think that I am so different that there are not others who also make those kinds of choices that may derail them. We all have flaws that can and will cause a momentary derailing. It is what we do with those teachable moments that are important. Admitting that I am not perfect and that I have flaws but that I am willing to learn and change course, making the the shift in my journey. In conversation with others who are also wanting to be interpersonal well, I have come to know that all humans make mistakes or errors in judgment or temporarily lose sight of their vision, but that does not mean giving up on your vision. What it does mean however is there is a lesson to be learned and you are not alone, you are not the only one who gets derailed. So take courage from knowing that you are not alone, you are in great company. Everyone has something that we are not always willing to admit causes us to derail. Today I am working on starting my day fast, living with purpose, and at the end of the day I will be able to say I finished strong. How about you?

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Do you feel like you are the only one?

If Healthy is the desire than why do I gamble?

MaryAnne Calder — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:01:17 +0000

I always associated gambling as something that you did with money. I don’t like gambling my money on the stock market or lotteries or at casinos. As a matter of fact, on our one and only trip to Las Vegas, I was annoyed with the slot machines. They were far to noisy and who wants to keep feeding something that you have no guaranteed return on. Glen, my husband wanted to try the machines, after all we were in Las Vegas and who doesn’t gamble some when you are in Las Vegas. He began with a certain amount of money and I went about looking at other things and got a cup of coffee. After a while I returned to where he was to see how he was doing. He told me that he was down but as soon as he was up we would leave. I stayed by his side to watch and when the machine showed he was up five cents I said “You’re up let’s get out of here.” We did! However last week I read this statement from the book Shot in the Arm by Sharon Lee Riguzzi and I quote ” I have been a gambler. For years, I would gamble every weekend. Not at Atlantic City, but at restaurants, at family dinner table, even in the car. I would gamble a week of hard work, saving for my dream (Weight Goal).” Unlike the author I did not do it by weekend eating. I do it by outsourcing my emotion to food. Every time I put a food in my mouth that is not in the plan for weight goal I am gambling away my health. Every time I give control to food and allow it to be the force away from my desired results I am gambling. I am actually finding that I am having physical reactions to outsourcing of food. Therefore causing recover to be longer then I want. Giving this old habit control, is the old (then) me. I desire the new me(now) to be proactive. As I approach my 60th b-day(several months away) I am making the connection with the realization that I am gambling away my whole reason for doing the hard work to get to my Weight Goal. That begs the question. Do I really want to live to be 100 years old? If so, then why am I gambling it away by overindulgence in food? Can I imagine what I could accomplish if I really put my mind to JUST DO IT? Am I up to the challenge? I AM!

By setting a goal and creating a structure around getting it I believe that I am going to realize that Weight goal. I would like to share with you what that looks like.

Grow

G – To reduce present weight by 5 lbs.

R- I have the skill and experience to know that recording and eating wisely along with moving more will help me to reduce. The time frame 4 weeks is realistic.

O- The plan for no desserts EOD (every other day), fruit is acceptable. To increase the intensity of my workout by adding core to Running Days. Recording everything that enters my mouth. As well as attending a WW class on August 17 and 31st.

W- Will I reach this goal with this plan? I know that I can. Will I stick to the plan? Indeed I can, God begin my helper.

Goal is 5 lbs by Sept 1st. Being accountable. That is the key to the What. The Why is to maintain and continue to be healthy.

Anyone interested in taking on a similar challenge? Can you Imagine what you could accomplish if you really put your mind to it?

Wishing you all a beautiful and blessed day.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

If Healthy is the desire than why do I gamble?

Chasing Rainbows

MaryAnne Calder — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 23:50:54 +0000

Several weeks ago the minister’s message was titled “Chasing Rainbow” it brought to mind the feeling of carefree living. Would that not be the best, to live everyday carefree? But the message was anything but about living carefree. It was about neglecting our dreams. Putting our dreams on a shelf and allowing them to fade away, until our rainbow in the sky are gone. Edward Hays has written a story about this. In a nutshell what he says is that when we neglect our dreams, the “monsters” come and robber and bury our dreams until we can no longer see them. But the hope in all of this it is not to late as long as we are breathing we can take back our dreams. What a great realization for me, because of recent I have felt the monsters nipping at my heels trying hard to bury my dream of being the inspiration to my family and friends, for them to fulfill their goals and dreams. I build on that assurance that if I work hard at fulfilling my own dreams and goals that it will inspire others to do the same. That is what I would call a purpose driven life! Therefore I continue to write and wish all those who read this blog are inspired to “Chase their Rainbows.” The positive intention in an old inner gremlin has the wisdom I need to move forward into making my dream a reality. I have another dream. To write a book for myself about the journey that I am doing. One that is purpose-driven. I have begun that dream but until I write down goals to do that very thing done, it is only a wish. To make this more then a wish I have written goals to reach my dreams and beyond I have had success using the following model.

G.E.T.

G -GENERATE OPTIONS

E- ESTABLISH SOLUTIONS

T- TAKE ACTION

I MUST BE THE CHANGE I VISUALIZE IN THE WORLD

I LOVE FEEDBACK. I AM AWARE THAT A COMBINATION OF SUPPORT AND CHALLENGE WILL FOSTER EXPONENTIAL GROWTH IN MY LIFE.

I am grateful to all who are teachers in my life. Thanks Myrna!

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Chasing Rainbows

Press release

MaryAnne Calder — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 23:35:43 +0000

Interpersonal Wellness Services Inc. 13 – 875 Gateway Rd. Winnipeg, MB. R2K 3L1, Tel: 204 668-5283 Fax: 204 667-8845,Web. www.interpersonalwellness.com E-mail: admin@interpersonalwellness.com Blog: http://lifecoachcentre.wordpress.com July 7, 2010 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Coaching Café at the Life Coaching Centre On Thursday, July 22nd, from 1-6pm, the Life Coaching Centre will host their first annual outdoor Coaching Café open to the public. The café will provide guests with the opportunity to learn more about Life Coaching, the dynamic new life tool quickly gaining recognition as an innovative path to success in all areas of life. “Cafes provide a fun, interesting and relaxing way to observe, participate in or learn more about a topic you’re interested in,” says Joyce Odidison, Coach and Founder of the Life Coaching Centre. “The Coaching field has grown with such momentum that many people still aren’t certain what Life Coaching entails or how it may be beneficial to their lives.” The Life Coaching Centre specialises in Interpersonal Wellness Coaching, which goes a step further than Life Coaching. It is where an individual works with a coach to gain new perspectives, develop a life plan, enhance interpersonal skills into competencies, gain clarity, strategize, and become more skilled at creating the successful relationships they want in work and life. “When people hear the term ‘life coaching’, they think it’s a form of therapy or counselling, “ says interpersonal Wellness coach, Mary Anne Calder, “But it’s actually the chance to sit with someone and set concrete life goals and determine how these goals can be reached and what tools will be necessary to get there.” The café will also feature readings from Joyce’s newest book, Interpersonal Wellness System – Improving Your Interpersonal Intelligence – A coaching Tool Kit, which introduces readers to the Interpersonal Wellness Quotient (IWQ), an instrument developed by Joyce and currently in use at the Centre, as well as by a number of coaches locally and internationally. “The Interpersonal Wellness System allows participants to look at all areas of their lives in detail and assess where they are, how much they are contributing to the wellness of their relationships, and how well they would like to be. It then provides them with the building blocks they need to reach their targets,” says Joyce. The Life Coaching Centre opened its doors in 2007 and provides a coaching venue for coach training in Manitoba as well as mentoring, intervention, and facilitation services for organizations, individuals, and groups. For more information on the Life Coaching Café, please contact Joyce Odidison at (204) 668 5283 or joyce@interpersonalwellness.com

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Press release

Let me Introduce the New Me!

MaryAnne Calder — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 02:04:14 +0000

I was recently asked if I had taken the time to get to know the new me? What a punch that question had on me. Had I taken the time to get to knew the new me? The me I had spent the past 4 years making changes too. I was not ready for the impact it had on me. However I looked at the question as a challenge. I had been so busy getting the draft ready for a new me, that I have not taken the time to introduce myself to me. So here goes. MaryAnne Calder, I would like you to meet the new and improved MaryAnne Calder, who has made many changes to her life. Some of those changes are, she is now a runner, she did a 5K run this summer. She now shops differently at the grocery store. She shops the perimeter where all the good food is. She loves trying new foods and has fallen in love with asparagus, avocado, sweet potatoes, halibut, goat cheese, and jicama. She is writing a book on her quest to finding the new and improved her. She has discovered her passion for sharing her experiences with others. One of the most rewarding activities she enjoys is playing ball with her grandsons and tea parties with granddaughters. Recently her husband and her enjoyed a picnic by the lake. It was an activity she had long had a passion for. She also has discovered how she can enjoy golfing with her husband simply by playing for the fun of the game with no expectations of perfection. The scenery is always incredible. She has also just completed the first phase in attaining her INTERPERSONAL WELLNESS LIFE COACHING. The best is the great enjoyment of spending quality time with family. This is the new me!

The one previously held fear that was keeping me from completely embracing the new me was the fear of the weight returning. This feeling manifested itself in eating in secret. Nothing is a secret and it did cause me to not get to the goal weight and gain 15 lbs. However after this exercise of introducing myself to me and facing the fear and knowing,”so what if I have gained I know how to reduce the weight.” I am spending time getting to know me. The new me does not fear weight gain anymore! When I feel the tinge of the old habit wanting to return, I simply say “the new me does not react that way anymore, I have changed that.” My days truly begin fast, and I live with purpose and finish strong. This is the new power tool I am using TRUTH that is greater than FORCE.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Let me Introduce the New Me!

Purpsoe Driven Days

MaryAnne Calder — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:41:38 +0000

A purpose driven day to me is a day that you set goals and get to the goal podium! I PLEDGE TODAY TO DO THE BEST I CAN. TO REMEMBER TO PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW. Truth, I place high expectations on myself. I believe I am being watched by others, because of the talk game I have. And because I expect myself to be “on” all the time that means 24/7, 365. I am tired so I find that I want to hide. I now instead want to put it out there that, I am normal, I make the decisions I do because I too am on a curve to learning what will be the best for me. For this truth I am taking away the knowledge that I can take a time off and do something other than think, sleep, play, and eat this healthy journey. AH is that what I want, to be in the unconscious competent place? I think so. It is bit scary because I know this is not meaning that I quit, because that is not the option. However I can take time to enjoy other thoughts. Take time off. I am pulling out some tools that will help me make this work. The first one is motivation. My motivation, look where I have come from and all that I have already done and been rewarded for. Have a beautiful and blessed day.Wish you enough.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Purpsoe Driven Days

Day of Purpose

MaryAnne Calder — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 15:19:27 +0000

I pledge to start this day living with purpose, to look for the wisdom/positive in the gremlins that make their appearance in my day, to be present in the moments of my day.
A purpose driven day, to me, is a day that you set goals and get to the goal podium! What is that goal? To live the best day. I PLEDGE TODAY TO DO THE BEST I CAN. TO REMEMBER TO PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Day of Purpose

Sometimes it is necessary to reteach yourself, your loveliness!

MaryAnne Calder — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 00:50:28 +0000

For the past 45 days I have been on a what feels like an archeological dig, digging away to find truths, that will aid me in making the choices for my healthy and thinner life. There have been many truths that I have uncovered. But by far the one that I uncovered in recent days is the greatest truth. THE NECESSITY TO RETEACH YOURSELF, YOUR LOVELINESS! And the following has been my journaling for today.

This week has been one that has had many an AH HA MOMENT. It began with a session with my mentor coach. I did not know what I wanted to start with when I opened up a conversation with her. But I did have one burning question. Why did I turn to the food source when I was attacked by the tired gremlin? Why was I having problems with respecting myself like a best friend? Believing I had the answer inside me, we talked about what were the possibilities for me to deal with the gremlin in another way. The answers are still working their, way to the surface but the good thing is, I have begun to take a step in the right direction, acknowledging that I need to look at another way of working thru the tiredness. One o f the things I have worked at is to acknowledge that I am tired and treat the emotion, not by hiding behind the food but to give myself the permission to have the emotion, admit to the feeling and deal with it by resting and then moving forward.

Now, the next AH MOMENT came with the reading of an article is which the author of Women, Food and God, Geneen Roth writes “TRUTH, NOT FORCE, DOES THE WORK OF ENDING COMPULSIVE EATING.” The truth shall set you free. Unearthing truths that are inside me is the way that I will continue to make the decision for the healthy life I desire.

The poet Galway Kinnell wrote;

“SOMETIMES IT IS NECESSARY TO RETEACH A THING ITS LOVELINESS”

Today my purpose is to begin to reteach myself, my loveliness. What about you?

Have a beautiful and blessed day, wish you enough.

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Sometimes it is necessary to reteach yourself, your loveliness!

GO FOR THE “GOAL”

MaryAnne Calder — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 22:23:53 +0000

As the Olympics goes into it’s second week of competition I have to admit I am not the kind of a person to sit and watch a full game or downhill skiing or what ever the event maybe. That does not mean I am not proud of our Canadian Athletes. I am. I just don’t enjoy the sport of watching. What does interest me are the human interest stories of the athletes. The sheer determination of all the athletes from all the countries to be at the Olympics competing for a spot on the medal podium. No curler is at the games curling their first game, no skier is skiing downhill or cross country for the first time at the games, no skater is stepping on the ice for the first time at the games. Everyone one of the competitors at the games, trained hard, work long hours, made mistakes, had setbacks, had victories and maybe more set backs. And everyone one of them started out an ordinary person looking to do extra ordinary things. What strikes me the most is the fact that many of those who compete have come back from setbacks and many have accomplished many victories already before the world stage games. What I am taking from their determination is that set backs did not stop them from working harder, longer, to get to be at these games. So why is it that those of us who have our own “Goal Podium” will take a setback as a negative and give up on our Goals. I believe that a setback is a learning experience and victories are to be celebrated but that they too are learning experiences. I am certain that quitting was not an option for any of those that made it to the games. So why is it that when we have roadblocks on our journey to our “GOAL” we look at quitting as the only option. I believe that we have the choice to make our “GOAL” a no option zone. I want to stand on my Medal Podium to reach for my “Goal” to get the Win that I am reaching for. What about you? Build a bridge with your gathered experiences and get over the road block.

You maybe ordinary but you can accomplish extra ordinary things. Go for the “GOAL”

Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

GO FOR THE “GOAL”

Putting the Gremlins in their place once and for all!

MaryAnne Calder — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 16:42:18 +0000

I want to share some goals that I would like to work towards in the next few months. Having had this revelation this morning “when we take detours in life that are on the way to being destructive, it so good to know that it does not mean you can’t get back on the road to the successes that got you the desired results for the life that you want. I am grateful that I have the learned experience that nothing is every not reversible.” I would like to making a more detailed explanation of what this means to me. First I had one of the roughest weeks of my journey in a very long time. I don’t know why. What I do know is that I needed to go back to the reason I begin this journey to a healthy and thinner me. That reason begin to create a life that I could enjoy my family and in particular my grandchildren, by being present with their activities and their accomplishments. I have had so much fun doing that, so then why I ask myself, am I not seeing that at this point in my journey. Oh yeah I lost focus on the road. So here is what I am doing. Setting goals, journal, journal, journal, writing my thoughts. Being prepare, doing the positive self talk, (so when thoughts of aging make their appearance in my line of vision, I will say “okay I know you are there, but as a gremlin, I am going to place you over there so you will not take away my joy of being.”) And I will be accountable to myself and to others. So there it is! Oh yeah my goal is to set the course and stay with my healthy eating program, workout out 5-6 days a week, being accountable, and blogging once a week. The reality is it will have to be a planned goal written down. This will be the options; to not do it is not one of them, I have the experience of knowing that being prepare is the best option I have. Why? Because I like my life! This goal is one I am setting for the next six weeks then it is up for review. So I am holding myself accountable to you who read this. Please make me accountable to you and follow my steps on this path of the journey.

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Post from: Missing Links Coaching - MaryAnne Calder

Putting the Gremlins in their place once and for all!